it's not 'there.' it's who we become when we are there.

One of the secrets of making new friends in another country is bonding over experiences that only we get. Like this one: every story told about a trip back to the states ends with an eagerness to return to Mexico. 

I couldn’t wait to get back. I’ve had enough.

Over time, few words were needed to explain why. We just knew.

4 days in San Francisco and I feel the difference already.

Beyond the white noise of a freeway and patterns of isolation, there's an absence. Am trying to fill in the blanks with what remains in my heart. 

It’s not easy.

Old patterns are at my finger tips.

Which is what my friend meant when he said on the night before I left, it’s not ‘there.’ it’s who we become when we’re there.

Our relationship to places and locations is ultimately about our relationship with ourselves.

Everything in our life mirrors back to us who we are. You can run, but you can’t hide.

I grew up here conditioned to be the old version of me: good girl, the smart one, anxious, perfectionist, closed off, frozen. Add the influence of Silicon Valley, and now you have aspects of disconnection, greed, comparison, competitiveness, and chasing…chasing what ultimately doesn’t matter.

OF COURSE this environment would inspire my inner road rage warrior to rise up. OF COURSE.

‘Who we become when we’re there’ is an issue when you don’t lead your life to protect the version of self you are embodying today.

You can easily be triggered and suddenly that pouty, angry, reactive 13 year old you reminds you that she’s still around.

And why this new chapter isn't just another trip back to where I came from.

This is a practice in being a boundaried-version of self.

How I spend my time and energy. What media I'm exposed to. How I engage with my phone. The standards I hold for myself and the people I choose to engage with. How I advocate for my well-being in these circumstances and new relationship.

When you're too flexible in life, you stand for nothing. Nobody can see who you are. You can’t even see who you are.

Now, I know you think “you don’t know how” when it comes to setting boundaries. I get that. Boundaries weren’t taught to me either. I learned to be boundary-less to receive love.

But trust me on this… a part of you knows.

You know when something doesn’t feel right inside from being too flexible. That inner voice sounds an alarm inside of you.

oof that didn’t feel good.

A boundary acknowledges that and does what needs to be done to be in greater alignment. It protects what you are creating. More inner peace. More confidence. More creativity. More self-assuredness. More self-love.

The way I see it, boundaries are commitments to yourself. They claim what’s important to you and hold you at your highest. And you and I both know you are worthy of being held at your highest, right?

That doesn’t make setting boundaries always easy. But it makes them important when you are curating the experience you want in life.

Tell me: What have you found to be challenging about setting boundaries in your life?