meet jen
Women’s Transformational Coach.
Recovering Perfectionist.
Learning to be Authentically Me.
Yoga Teacher. Author. Columnist.
It took me half my life (literally) to meet my bravery.
I was always the good girl, good student, good partner attached to how I performed, how I looked, and doing it all “right”, all the time. I didn’t know then but I was looking outside of myself — in my partners, in my clothing and things I owned, in certain friendships, and my academic achievements, in career — for what I wanted to feel inside: Validated. Worthy. Wanted. Enough.
The anxiety that followed me around my whole life manifested as insomnia many moons ago with lots of 3am wake-ups thanks to my inner critic shaming me for not meeting perceived expectations. I feared the criticism that might follow.
My life story includes family-of-origin deaths, divorces, decisions that were questionable, all while trying to be perfect.
It wasn’t until I had a wake-up call in the form of an unexpected divorce that I began to get real. I’ve always been a seeker but it wasn’t until I looked more deeply within that I was able to really SEE what programming was at play and take off the masks I wore for a braver, freer, more loving and peaceful me.
In the years that followed, here’s what I’ve learned through my inner work:
Clarity on how my parents traumas formed the blueprint for my attachment pattern and contributed to the culture in my family-of-origin that facilitated my childhood wounding.
Connected the dots between my emotionally-distant father, how I learned to love, and why my romantic relationships never worked out.
Understanding the role shame had in keeping me playing small.
Transforming self-doubt into self-trust and confidence to be braver, bigger, to make mistakes, to allow my voice to be heard and seen as valid.
Breaking my streak and healing the energy behind being a life-long serial monogamist, rolling from one relationship to another to another to another. (it’s exhausting)
Learning how to regulate my nervous system to be able to go bigger (and sleep at night).
Transforming my relationship to my inner critic and perfectionist parts of me.
Trusting myself to make decisions. I made the first big life decision I’ve ever made that was just for myself. I went to live in Mexico, solo. It was the easiest decision of my life. (Now that’s brave!)
But more importantly, my inner work has gifted me CHOICES and through those choices, a new me has emerged, one more aligned with my higher self.
And my inner work continues, as it does for all.
Certifications:
Master Life Coaching (Elementum Coaching Institute)
Integrative Wellness Coach (Integrative Wellness Academy)
Yoga Teacher
M.B.A.
And basically, life.
I’ve had many teachers and mentors:
Alexi Panos, Preston Smiles, Christine Hassler, Stefanos Sifandos @ Elementum
Dr. Rachel Dew @ IWA
Robin Rivera
David Bedrick @ Santa Fe Institute for Shame-Based Studies
Sand Symes, Spiritual Coach
Plant spirits
I thank them all.