seeking a clean slate
you know that feeling, when you should be doing something, pumped and motivated, ready to go...but aren't? i'm there.
the new year is here and i am dragging my feet. i'm not even half way done reading my book, or meditating on a regular basis, or sorting out what i need to do next.
it's only been a couple of days since january rolled around, i know. patience was never one of my strong points.
i gave myself permission to chill through the holidays, but they're over now. and i'm not over it: the end of school, holidays, travel and reporting back to work in a job that is about to end and i've outgrown. maybe it's the series of endings, one right after the other, that keep me here. and i want to be done with the endings. i want a clean slate, fresh gravel to travel on this journey. in theory, i want to exhale the old and breathe in fresh, scary possibilities.
but i notice, i'm still holding. waiting.
i firmly believe readiness is everything, so i wonder if i am ready to tackle my future. can i be OK with this (for now)? maybe by setting an intention in practice tonight, i can cultivate more patience, compassion and courage.